I went inside, showered, and got ready for class. I hadn’t really absorbed what had happened yet. When he dropped me off at home, he told me to be more careful in the future and drove away. He offered to give me a ride home, which I accepted. He asked me exactly what happened, and I told him as best as I knew. I was sleeping behind a bush, about 30 miles from the bar and my home. I was woken up by a police officer poking me in the ribs with his nightstick around 10 in the morning. All I remember of that night beyond that point is a few flashes of an unfamiliar room, and two different women on top of me. I don’t even remember getting the second one. When we returned, I finished my drink and ordered a second. I got about halfway through mine and we got up to do some dancing. We took one of their tables, and we all ordered drinks. It was Thursday night, and a few friends and I went there because I didn’t have to go into school until very late on Friday. Like most young people living on their own for the first time, I had a favorite bar with a good price on drinks. Unfortunately, I don’t remember much of it, but I will do my best. I’ve decided to share my rape experience. I just hope that this story is helpful in some way. I honestly don’t fully know what to call this story.
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I do not know how to respond to that statement. In both cases, they listened attentively, and then responded in almost identical fashion, “If you were on top, then it wasn’t rape.” I also know that when I think back on this I am equal parts angry, disgusted, and disappointed that I didn’t stop it.įor some reason, I decided to tell this story to two separate female partners in the time since. I also know that I did not want this, and that everyone there knew that I had gone to sleep early because I was too drunk. Yes, I know that drunken one-night stands happen. Yes, I know that getting black-out drunk is always a bad idea.
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Bye!” She said that in a cheery, normal, not-hungover-at-all voice and walked out the door. She smiled, kissed me quickly on the lips, and said,”That was fun, but I gotta head out this morning. On the floor were two used condoms that I do not remember even having on. She was on the edge of the bed getting dressed. I woke up in the morning, confused, face down, and naked.
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I just remember a series of images that do not seem real. I don’t remember details and have no sense of the time involved, what was said, what anything felt like, or even what I did during those images.